I don’t normally write fantasy or dystopian, but since fantastical worlds are all the rage these days, I thought I’d try my hand at creating an other-worldly place. A place where I’d like to live.
A world inhabited by humans—people just like you and me—not oddly configured creatures or super heroes. Just ordinary guys and gals.
Here’s what my world would look like…
The entire society would be molded around the principle that sex is a gift. From GOD. An incredibly special gift with very specific purposes. One, to create a glue-like bond within marriage between a husband and a wife and two, to make babies.
This society would commit to teaching its people the truth about the amazing powers this gift possesses. Extreme care would be taken to educate on the need to guard and cherish this awesome gift.
Sex would be held up as something sacred. It would be understood that sex is more than simply a pleasurable physical act. Not that its enjoyment would be discounted. Oh no. But because it’s so good, sex would be protected from anything or anyone who would try to abuse it.
Sex would be respected. There would be absolutely no using sex as material for crude innuendos, dirty jokes, or trash talk.
Saving sex for marriage would be the “norm”. Guys and girls alike would put huge effort toward this goal. Because they really understood what sex was all about, people would want to wait.
Friends would encourage each other to postpone the pleasures of sexual intimacy for marriage. They’d hold each other accountable and make a big deal about it. Why? Because they believed that waiting was worth it.
The temptation to indulge in sex before a marriage commitment would still exist. But the expectation that sex was for only after the “I do’s” would be a major incentive to wait. So much support and encouragement would surround the idea of waiting that it would be like a 12-step program. This ultimate group effort would protect the purposes that sex was created for.
Sounds like pretty much the opposite of today’s world, wouldn’t you say?
But think about it…
If everyone saved sex for marriage, then no one would have to drag around the baggage casual sex leaves behind. The guilt, the memories, the heartache.
Babies wouldn’t be born to moms and dads who haven’t made a “for better or for worse” commitment.
There wouldn’t be more than 1 million cases of sexually transmitted diseases diagnosed every year.
Future marriages wouldn’t be saddled with remembrances and expectations from past sexual experiences.
Can you even imagine how incredible that would be?
But that’s not our reality. And here’s why. Sex has been so trivialized that waiting until after the “I do’s” is seen as unnecessary and unimportant. Even worse, being a virgin on the wedding night is deemed, by too many, to be ridiculous or dumb.
The “test drive” theory has chipped away at the ideal of waiting, by maintaining that saving sex for marriage is actually a bad idea. Wow, is that sad and so not true.
By all means, test drive that Jeep or sports car or 4-wheel drive truck, but do not apply this tactic to sexual intimacy.The try-before-you-buy theory is the absolute wrong way to approach sex. Whatever needs to be discovered about the mechanics of sex can happen after the wedding.
Sex is not a mode of transportation. It’s the joining of two hearts and minds and bodies in what is intended to be the most intimate experience two people can share.
How different our world would be if people just understood all of this and made decisions based on these truths.
Would you like to live in my world?
I’d love to hear from you in a COMMENT (under the title) OR by email at waitingmatters@gmail.com
Actually, I am quite certain I have read, or at least heard of, books that treat sex as sacred or some kind of magical bond but I can’t think of any that put a respectful, holy commitment aspect to it.
Beth,
Thanks for tackling a subject – intimacy – that’s at times viewed as taboo, with an amount of discretion.
Also, I received your message about my book, Marriage God’s Way (https://scottlapierre.org/marriage-gods-way/), and I’ll respond to it in a moment. The second to last section of the book deals with intimacy…
Part VII: 1 Corinthians 7:1–6: A Biblical View of Intimacy
—-Chapter Nineteen: The Case for Intimacy
—-Chapter Twenty: When Intimacy Is Threatened
Have you read the novels by Bud MacFarlane?!? Absolutely beautiful incorporation od the catholic view of sexuality. Would love to see more books like this!
The reason sex is not respected today is because marriage and family are worshiped as idols and sex has become the universal expectation for all mankind. When celibacy is not respected, marriage is not respected. It’s pretty simple.
I think you have a fascinating premise for a novel here!
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Maybe so! 🙂
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Actually, I am quite certain I have read, or at least heard of, books that treat sex as sacred or some kind of magical bond but I can’t think of any that put a respectful, holy commitment aspect to it.
I just read the below article and thought you’d find it interesting.
http://forher.aleteia.org/articles/virgin-shaming-respecting-virginity-in-a-hypersexualized-culture/
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Great read, thanks Sparks.
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Beth,
Thanks for tackling a subject – intimacy – that’s at times viewed as taboo, with an amount of discretion.
Also, I received your message about my book, Marriage God’s Way (https://scottlapierre.org/marriage-gods-way/), and I’ll respond to it in a moment. The second to last section of the book deals with intimacy…
Part VII: 1 Corinthians 7:1–6: A Biblical View of Intimacy
—-Chapter Nineteen: The Case for Intimacy
—-Chapter Twenty: When Intimacy Is Threatened
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Hi Scott — Thanks for commenting. I’ll check out your book.
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Have you read the novels by Bud MacFarlane?!? Absolutely beautiful incorporation od the catholic view of sexuality. Would love to see more books like this!
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No but I will check them out. Thanks for posting.
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I LOVE your last two paragraphs. Needs to be on a billboard!
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Hmm… now that would be cool.
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The reason sex is not respected today is because marriage and family are worshiped as idols and sex has become the universal expectation for all mankind. When celibacy is not respected, marriage is not respected. It’s pretty simple.
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Both my wife and I waited until marriage before our sexual union, and have no regrets whatsoever. That is almost 30 years ago now.
Casual sex has saturated so much of our media nowadays. It would so difficult for the young people to stay strong.
Thank you for sharing and for your advocacy.
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