(DNA Sleuth column – March 2025)
For the past month, I’ve been neck-deep in a writing project that has claimed much of the time I usually spend burrowed deep in search angel mode. I’m still popping into Ancestry to check for new DNA matches, though, always hopeful for a new close match, especially for several cases that remain stubbornly unsolved. It’s a great time of year for such optimism as DNA kits remain a popular Christmas gift, making January-February-March the season of new matches, as results from those gifted kits filter in.
In the meantime, I’ve been pondering the search-related lessons reinforced by three recent cases, one solved and two lounging in limbo. All three involve what I call a “once removed” situation.
It’s always best to work with DNA results from the person(s) closest to the mystery or dilemma at hand. For instance, if an adoptee and her daughter both complete a DNA test, whose results should we use? The adoptee’s results. Why? The adoptee’s results will be the most helpful in the search to identify her birthparents because she is closest to the situation. But sometimes the “closest” DNA isn’t available, and that’s when we shift into once or even twice removed mode.
My three recent “once removed” cases each involve an adoptee who passed without submitting a DNA test. So, in each case, we’re using the DNA results of one of the adoptee’s children. The matches are one generation removed from the adoptee who has the unknown parentage. It’s what we’ve got to work with, so we’re charging full steam ahead. These three interesting cases reminded me of lessons that are central to successful DNA sleuthing.
Once-removed Summer, looking for her paternal grandparents
Last fall, Summer contacted me via the National Association of Adoptees and Parents, an organization that offers support services to the adoption community, requesting help in locating her father’s birth parents. He passed in 2023 knowing nothing more about his origins than the few very vague details found in some old documents. Summer desperately wanted to find the answers for her dad—she felt he would have wanted to know—but also for herself. Because his heritage is also her heritage.
We eventually combined the matches from three testing sites—MyHeritage, Ancestry, and 23andMe—into one family tree. Because her father was thought to have been born in Illinois but adopted and then raised in Indiana, I strongly encouraged Summer to request documents pertaining to his birth and adoption from BOTH states simultaneously. Illinois gave adult adoptees access to their records in 2012, and Indiana followed in 2018. Summer persisted through some frustrating volleying back and forth between the state offices when they engaged in a brief game of “it’s not us, it’s them.” Ultimately, the two involved state entities worked together to locate the records and provide them to Summer. I sent up a long, loud hurrah at the collaborative efforts between states that finally produced the truth Summer and her father deserved to have.
His original birth certificate revealed the name of Summer’s father’s mother to be I.H. But a previous search angel had pegged M.H. (the same last name) as the mother based on a close match on MyHeritage. I had briefly reviewed the evidence pointing to M.H., and agreed with that conclusion, before diving into the paternal side. A visit back to the family tree we’d built, that did include I.H., indicated a too-quick assumption had been made that the close match on MyHeritage was Summer’s half-uncle. In reality, he was Summer’s great-uncle, a generation removed from the assumed relationship, but one that comes in at the same range of shared DNA.
Lesson: Persistence and knowledge of the law are two important keys to success.
Lesson: Explore ALL relationship possibilities thoroughly.
Once-removed James—looking for his maternal grandparents
I connected with James in December when a mutual friend introduced us. James’ mother, who was born and adopted in Illinois, died with no knowledge of her parentage, when James was just 14. Now, more than twenty years later with a wife and children of his own, James would like to connect with his mother’s biological relatives.
James shared his DNA results with me, and I encouraged him to request his mother’s adoption documents from the state of Illinois. I eagerly jumped in to sort his matches, but soon, I hit a roadblock. While he had several good maternal matches, in the range of first cousin once removed (1C1R) to second (2C), and I identified many of them, the matches who should have connected to each other via documentation and known family trees, did not connect. I dug further and deeper but still no connections materialized. I contacted James with the news that I feared his top two maternal matches had mysteries of their own to solve—whether they knew it or not. Possibly they were themselves adopted or, they were seeking confirmation for some other reason as to who one (usually the father) or both of their parents were. A third possibility existed, that one or both unknowingly had a father different than who they believed their father to be.
Although it can be tempting to send a rash of “Can you help me?” or “Who are you?” messages to one’s DNA matches, it is never advisable to immediately reach out without first doing some research. And even after research provides some information and direction, contact should be initiated with a cautious, treading-lightly approach.
James understands this, and as he contemplates this next step, I sense hesitancy on his part. A tentativeness that I both understand and appreciate. While he really does want to know about his mother’s biological truth, he’s aware that what we discover may be unsettling or disappointing, possibly intrusive to or life-altering for her relatives. The decision to proceed or halt belongs to James. I assured him that I’m in this for the long haul, and that we will proceed, or not, at a pace that feels comfortable to him.
Lesson: The decisions belong to the searching person or family.
Sibling group—looking for their maternal grandmother
In December, a group of siblings, readers of The DNA Sleuth column, contacted me about locating their adopted mother’s biological family. “Mom,” who passed away in 1998, had been born and adopted in Indiana in 1915. Because the adoption took place before 1941, when Indiana began the practice of “sealing” all adoption records, Mom’s original birth certificate remained unsealed. When, as an adult, she needed a copy of her birth certificate, she received a copy of the original document. The vital record, completed in a hurried handwritten script, listed the name of a very young mother but no father.
In their quest to learn about their mother’s birth mother, two of the siblings as well as a niece, multiple grandnieces and grandnephews, and even a great-grandniece tested their DNA with Ancestry.com. So, now they had a dozen descendants’ DNA results and a birth mother’s name, but they needed help knowing how to take the next step.
I quickly found who I believed to be the mother listed on the birth certificate. The next step? Try to establish a connection between this potential mother and the DNA results. While I applauded the family’s interest in delving into their mother’s, grandmother’s, great- and great-great grandmother’s biological family, the DNA results most helpful in trying to make that connection are those of one of Mom’s daughter’s. And that DNA did confirm a connection to the young mother I had pegged.
The biggest challenge with this case is found in the passage of time. With more than a century since Mom’s birth, few people who would have known the birth mother are still alive. We’ve found one elderly gentleman who recalls meeting her, once, when he was 11 years old. Folks who might have been privy to the details and circumstances surrounding the birth and relinquishment? No one is left. Living relatives are mostly two generations or more removed from the situation which greatly limits any information they might have to share. But, we’ll forge ahead nonetheless, intent on locating a picture of Mom’s birth mother.
Lesson: While any descendants’ DNA will provide useful information, the closest DNA will be the most helpful.
Lesson: The passage of time can obscure the lives and stories of our ancestors, limiting what we can discover.
The moral to these stories is that once removed and even twice removed DNA results—a grandchild looking for biological grandparents—can net success. Which is great news indeed since the technology that fuels genetic genealogy didn’t exist during Mom’s lifetime. Also great because, while some choose not to search, their children and grandchildren may have a deep longing to discover their ancestors.
Still, we must not forget that time is the enemy. When an individual or family waits to begin a quest for answers, they may forever miss the opportunity to meet and make a connection with their newly discovered kin. The likelihood will grow with each passing year that those who hold the answers to the why and how questions that neither documents nor DNA results can provide will no longer be with us.
While DNA, thankfully, lives on in the cells of a person’s descendants, that’s not the case when it comes to life details and photos. The passage of time tends to fade, blur, and even evaporate the personal stories, journeys, and struggles, the life experiences and the intimate details of those who came before us.
So, DNA test the oldest members of your family. Listen to and record their stories about growing up, serving their country, and raising a family. Ask them if they can identify photos found in the boxes tucked in the attic. Treasure these folks’ memories and preserve them for future generations.
Ancestry.com DNA test kits–other company’s kits as well–may be on sale ito commemorate National DNA Day on April 25. Snag a few extras to have on hand for when great-uncle Joe is persuaded to lend his DNA to broaden the search for extended family.
Beth Steury, Author 