You’ve decided to save sex or at least any more sexual experiences for your wedding night. You won’t regret it—I promise.
Or at least you’re considering this option. Keep considering because waiting makes sense for anyone and everyone.
So, you look around at the guys at your school, at church or on the job. You study the girls in class, at the gym or in
your neighborhood. Who will be fun to hang out with AND be someone you can trust with your no sex commitment?
The last time I checked, no one wore t-shirts emblazoned with “saving sex for marriage—looking for a like-minded guy” or “virgin groom looking for virgin bride”. Although maybe that’s not a bad idea. Could prevent a lot of grief and heart ache.
But really, how can you know who the “safe” girls and guys are—the ones who won’t undermine your efforts? Give some thought to these eight insights and let them help you navigate the choppy waters of abstinence or renewed abstinence without the aid of labeled apparel.
- Don’t hide your commitment. Be open about your decision to save sex for marriage. “Open” doesn’t mean you begin every sentence with “Since I’m saving myself…” What it does mean is don’t fade into the background when the subject at lunch or in the locker room or at the game turns to sex. Admit your choice without judging the choice of others.
- Girls, pay attention to how you act and dress around guys… and everyone else for that matter. Excessive flirty and flaunting what you say you’re saving for your future husband will attract the wrong kind of guy.
- Guys, show your respect for the female gender by treating girls the way you want guys to treat your little sister. If you slip into macho, cool dude, womanizing mode, you’ll be sending out the wrong vibe.
- Listen up when a guy talks about whatever. His inner self will seep out between the lines.
- Pay attention to what she does and doesn’t say about herself, her friends, and the male species.
- Hanging out in groups often gets a bad rap, but it offers a terrific chance to learn more about that interesting guy or fascinating girl. Make sure the group’s agenda doesn’t include pairing off or hooking up or the use of alcohol and drugs.
- Being friends first is always a good plan. Going out with someone you barely know isn’t wise.
- Don’t rush into “couple” status. The tug to express physical affection is always greater once you’re “official”.
Remember how I said your best friend’s commitment to waiting has to be at least as strong as yours in order for him or her to help you? That goes double for the people you go out with. Because one person’s commitment can’t keep a relationship pure.
What’s worked for you when it comes to finding like-minded guys or girls to date?