“I already didn’t wait,” you say. “So it’s too late to think about saving myself for my husband or wife,” you insist.
“No use worrying about somethin’ I can’t change.”
“Abstinence matters to those who haven’t had sex, maybe. But not to someone like me.”
If that’s how you feel, you’re not alone. Tons of people didn’t wait and have convinced themselves that it’s too late to choose a different path—to change their thinking, their ways, their values… whatever.
But it’s not too late.
No, you can’t “will” yourself to be a virgin again. It doesn’t quite work that way. But you can stop putting yourself at risk emotionally, physically, and mentally. At any point you can say “no” to sex outside of a marriage commitment and choose renewed abstinence.
I already hear a chorus of voices crying out, “But you don’t understand!”
“I can’t make a big deal about it now. We’ve been doin’ it for a long time.”
“She’ll leave me if I say ‘no’ now.”
“He loves me.”
“We’re getting married…next month, next year… someday.”
But I do get it. If you’re in a sexually active relationship, yeah, it will be tough to back things up. It will take determination and perseverance and guts—from both of you. An accountability set-up of some sort will be a must.
Tough, yes. Impossible, no. Not with the right encouragement and support.
Maybe you’re not so much into relationships as into hooking up or casual sex.
“Everyone knows I do it. It’s expected.”
“It’s my business who and if I sleep with someone … or multiple someones.”
“It’s only sex. So what?”
“Casual” and “sex” were never meant to go together. You deserve so much more than the momentary thrill of sex with no meaning, no commitment, no purpose.
You may think you’re getting sex without strings, but really you aren’t. Even casual sex produces memories… that lead to feelings… that create ties. Because that’s the way sex is supposed to work.
If you’re in a “committed” relationship, this is the time to dig deep into every part of the relationship—except the physical. Why? Because the allure of sex will steal time and effort from the pursuit of getting to know each other on a deeper level. The temptation to regularly put aside the exploring of goals, ideals, values and beliefs, in favor of exploring hard muscles and soft curves, will be huge. And you’ll probably lose.
The best sex you’ll ever have is in a love-anchored, committed marriage. And you deserve the best… despite how much your past or your friends or your special someone tries to convince you otherwise.
Don’t settle for anything less.