Our pleasure-seeking, I-want-it-now (whatever “it” is) society sees absolutely no reason to wait for anything. We want what we want, when we want it. And that usually means now.
Not getting what we want is worse than… most anything we can think of. We’ll do almost anything to avoid it.
Break a promise to ourself or someone else.
Put aside long-held beliefs.
Comprise on a moral issue.
Even lie.
Because that to-die-for helping of Death By Chocolate left us wanting more, we indulge in another hefty portion, ignoring the pricking of a conscience that committed to portion control.
Because we cannot abide the thought of waiting until the money is in hand for that brand new, must-have video game or music download or basketball shoes or designer jeans, we buy on time, borrow, or in some other way over-extend ourselves, shutting down the guilt from yet another unwise decision.
Because the allure of sex is soooo tempting… soooo strong… so promising, we can’t possibly ignore it or deny it or seek distraction, so we rationalize that it doesn’t really matter… that much.
The pounds pile on. Debts accumulate. Sex happens outside of marriage.
All because the concept of delaying pleasure or gratification is completely foreign.
“Delaying what? Never heard of it.”
And that’s very likely true.
Delayed gratification = the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later reward.
Saying “no” now so that when you can say “yes” later, there’s no guilt, no baggage, no long-term stuff to deal with.
Save a piece of that decadent dessert for tomorrow. Write your name on the plastic wrap and put it in the back of the fridge. It will taste even better then.
Save enough cash to buy that gotta-have new whatever. Post a picture of it on your mirror, dashboard, in your locker—to encourage the penny-pinching that will make it yours soon. You’ll prize the purchase even more by then.
Save sex for your wedding night. Avoid tempting situations and anything that pushes you to compromise, rationalize or just give up. Instead, surround yourself with encouragement, support and accountability and set yourself up for sex without the baggage of sex.
“But our wedding is only a day…”
“…a week…”
“…a month…”
“… a couple months …”
“…six months, tops, … from now.”
“We’re getting married for sure. Really we will. I’m sure of it.”
“So what if we move up the ‘wedding night’? Does it matter that much?”
“And really, it’s a ceremony and a piece of paper. That’s it.”
Let me ask you this.
Why are you spending all that time and money for a ceremony?
Because you want all your friends and family to celebrate with you the start of your new life together.
Because a vow to spend the rest of your life with someone is a big deal. It’s huge and should be hailed in a huge way. And commemorated. And applauded.
What better way to mark and honor this promise than to save the joining of two bodies as one for the wedding night?
Are you choosing to save sex for the wedding night? I’d love to hear from YOU! Share your thoughts in a comment or send an email to waitingmatters@gmail.com
Beth Steury, Author 